August 2009
63 posts
how do you get an elephant into a subway?
fmylife:
Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML
fuck your face →
“If you talk, you better walk, you better back your shit up”
– (via nikkiroj) (via kiirsten)
hahaha
today a stranger asked me to watch him masturbate. fml.
fmylife:
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I’ve been seeing. I thought I’d found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, “eat it, eat it!” FML
TITTAYS ON THE DASHBOARD IS NICE , BUT CAN WE...
(via lalaaaa)
fmylife:
Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theather. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, “Shut up white boy, I don’t have to listen to your shit.” I just got told by a six year old. FML
Listen
smoke weed everyday
